


An Independent View

by LazySundayMusings



Category: Peter Kay's Car Share (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 14:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17387750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazySundayMusings/pseuds/LazySundayMusings
Summary: There is no doubt whatsoever in Paul’s mind that John is smitten, but can’t understand why.Set in series 2, in the week before s2x04, having just finished dinner at Paul’s home.





	An Independent View

John had accepted the invitation to have dinner with Paul and his family not because he was hungry - he had leftovers and a pantry full of microwavable meals - or for the company - he was generally happiest by himself - but because he needed Paul’s advice. Paul was a genuinely caring person who would support you in any way he could, but John didn’t need that kind of support. The previous six weeks had left him tied up in knots, and talking to supportive people hadn’t been as helpful as he’d hoped. No, John needed the “take no prisoners” aspect of Paul’s nature, where if you asked him to be honest he would not hold back. And right now John needed that. Because, of all the people he knew, the person who wouldn’t hesitate to burst his bubble - for his own good, of course - was his brother.

They had briefly spoken before that day, getting Paul up to date with what John would sarcastically call his “life” and the part Kayleigh was playing in it. Once he arrived they’d had another brief talk then John had focussed on being the best uncle he could be to Ben and Sophie. Dinner, of course, was delicious and satisfying and accompanied by laughter, but all the time John was aware of the occasional worried look shared between Paul and Monique, even as they kept the occasion as family-centric as possible.

It wasn’t until after they’d had dessert and John and Paul were making hot drinks in the kitchen that John was finally able to ask his question.  
“Well? I am right, aren’t I, about wanting to takes things slow?”  
Paul didn’t hesitate. “Yes. Absolutely.”  
“You didn’t have think about it?”  
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot, that’s why I’m sure.” Paul handed John two mugs. “Look, we can’t talk in here. Let’s take these in and then we’ll head outside - it’s not cold and there’s no one around. There’s no point waiting for those two to go to sleep - they’re full of dessert and overexcited because you’re here.”

They carried out the drinks and placed them on the table. When Paul and John made to leave John felt a tug on his shirt. He looked down to see Sophie with a worried look on her face.  
“Are you going, Uncle John?”  
“No, no, I’m not going just yet. I just want to talk to your Dad for a little while. That’s all.”  
“Can I come too?”  
“Um...”  
Paul spoke up. “Well, maybe we’re going to talk about your birthday that’s coming up, and we can’t do that if you’re right there, can we?”  
Sophie smiled, shaking her head.  
“We won’t be too long, I think. And your Uncle John can’t go until he tells you a bed-time story, right?”  
John nodded. “That’s right, and tonight’s story has a princess AND a dragon in it.”  
“Yay!” said Sophie as she let go of his shirt.   
John noted another quick look between Paul and Monique before Paul closed the door behind them.

“Birthday talk?”  
“Yep - you know, it’s her birthday in two weeks’ time and since you’re her favourite uncle anything you get her will be brilliant and she’ll adore you all the more. Okay. Birthday talk over.”  
“I’m her only uncle.”  
“Doesn’t matter.”

Paul sat and indicated to John to do the same. “You wanted to know what I really think. Okay. You are absolutely right to want to take things slow with her. No question. Don’t know why you even asked me.”

“That’s it? That was easy. But why the looks between you and Monique?”

"Because there’s more, and I suspect that you’re not going to like it. Now, I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and there’s two parts to this, being how you relate to Kayleigh, and how you feel about what happened with Charlotte. Obviously.”

“First bit. You and Kayleigh. Short version - solely based on what you’ve been telling me about the last couple of months, I am surprised that you consider Kayleigh to be your friend, let alone be considering anything more. Mainly because it sounds like she doesn’t respect you personally or professionally.”  
John sat wide-eyed as Paul continued. “You know I’m big on respect, right? It’s fairly easy to get along with people, work with them, have a laugh and whatever. But without respect there’s no substance to it. Think of it like this - how many people do you know through work that you get along with, can work with them and all that, but you wouldn’t lose any sleep if you never saw them again? You can respect someone’s knowledge and ability, but if you don’t respect them as a person, you don’t tend to care about them.”

“Right then. Usual deal, just hear me out unless I get something fundamentally wrong, okay? This is my take on what you’ve told me.”

John nodded.

“The morning you picked her up when she was utterly shitfaced. You would expect someone would either take it easy or request a day off if they knew they’d be having an all-nighter, but she didn’t. She knew you’d turn up as usual and while you wouldn’t approve of it you probably wouldn’t be a complete and utter manager about it either.”

“The blatant lie to her supervisor about being sick while you’re right there in the car. Put you in an impossible position as friend/manager, having already insinuated that what you had to do that day wasn’t actually important.”

“Mocked you for not using the disabled toilets on the basis that you’re all about following the rules. Now maybe that was a management vs staff thing, but I know you have a strong moral code and realise those facilities are there for people with a genuine need to use them, not some lazy-arse who can’t be bothered to wait for two minutes.”

“There’s the way she mocked your faith...”  
John interrupted. “That just wasn’t part of her upbringing.”  
“Same with Mon, but she’s doesn’t make fun of me for it.”

“She bought into the rumour about you being gay. As in, totally bought into the rumour, didn’t once think that since she had no idea who you really are then maybe it might all be a load of shit. Oh no, some shop assistant talks out of her arse and therefore it must be true.”

“Then there’s the way she always goes on about the guy who collects the shopping trolleys, the one half her age, more or less. Doesn’t his mum work at the store?”  
“Yeah - Barbara.”  
“Ask yourself this - do you think that Kayleigh, or any of them, would make those kinds of comments about this guy in front of Barbara? No. Of course not, because there’s a line that you just don’t cross. And yet, every morning, after you’ve spent your time and money for the privilege of giving her a free lift to work, she then effectively declares that she would rather have been up against a skip, taking it from a guy whose ambition for getting a summer job was limited to collecting trolleys at the supermarket where mummy works. Completely dismissing the effort you make on her behalf every day. Twice a day, actually. I won’t tell you what Mon said when I told her about that one. You think I’m blunt? She was vicious.”

He took a deep breath. “And then we have the bit that made me angry, for two reasons. The fact that she thought it was hilarious that time you hurt yourself and was obviously in pain. She called you a cripple, then joined in as those kids laughed at you. “Laughed like hyenas” is the expression you used. And then she proceeded to slag off that girl that had showed genuine concern when you were still obviously in pain. Presumably trying to distract you from the fact that she’d been so horrible to you on the drive in.”

“The second reason that made me angry is you, dickhead. Nothing you do at work is more important that getting medical help when you’re hurt. No one will think less of you if your reason for not showing up on time is because you’re in A&E waiting for an x-ray. Playing the martyr, turning up when you’re hurt and then being unable to actually help is not going to get you any extra credit in their eyes. It was just a stocktake, you idiot!”

His rant was interrupted by urgent tapping on the window behind them. Paul turned to see Monique waving and pointing downwards. Paul waved in response and turned back to John.

“Getting a bit loud there. They could hear me inside.”

“You’re making Kayleigh out to be a monster.”

“All I know is what you’ve told me, and it sounds like she has no respect for you. The fact that you told me about those times shows that they’re obviously a real concern to you.” He paused. “I will say this though - the fact that she found it funny that you were obviously in real pain should have been a deal-breaker right then. There’s no excusing that.”

He cleared his throat. “Forgetting that for now - there’s got to be something else about her otherwise you wouldn’t be talking about taking things slowly, whatever they are. Why else would you spend the equivalent of a full working day every week stuck in traffic to cart her around, for free? If it was just so you could talk about things then you’d text, talk to her on the phone, or Skype, or meet up on Sundays for brunch then go get your hair done or something. No, there’s something about you two spending time together each day that’s important to you, and you’ll have to work that out.”

“So that’s the first bit. You feel a connection to her for some reason, despite what appears to be a total lack of respect for you on her part. Now maybe that was in the beginning, or rare, or less important to you than you’ve made out, but whatever - what you’re feeling is happening despite where your head has been for the last few years. Which brings me to the second bit. The messy bit. You.”

“Here’s what I think went wrong with you and Charlotte. I think that you put on a very brave face once it was obvious that you and Caroline were not meant to be together, but then started to think that you would only ever have one more chance - if that - to get on with what you thought you were supposed to be doing with your life. And you found Charlotte and she was lovely, and funny, and intelligent, and seemed to tick most of the boxes, but - let’s face it - Caroline seemed pretty-much perfect for you but if you couldn’t make it work with her then what chance with someone else, right? But your need to be getting on with things was overwhelming so you decided you would just work it out as you went along. But you couldn’t work it out, and the pressure kept growing so you ended up ignoring your doubts until it was far too late to save it.”

“So Charlotte leaves and you decided it was all your fault - which isn’t entirely true - and you shut down. Turned away from everyone, more or less, pushed people away so you wouldn’t be in the position where you would make someone else so unhappy. Which is very noble.”

“And now Kayleigh’s turned up. Someone who is more or less where you were when you met Charlotte - got to get on with it, running out of time - and despite what you think is your good judgement you started to connect with her. Even though, from an outside perspective, it looks like she doesn’t have much respect for you.  
You could have stopped it. Torn strips off her when she failed to show you any respect, asked for a new buddy when it was obvious you couldn’t keep it professional or when she moved out to Bury. No. You stuck with it, put yourself out on her behalf.” He sighed. “Look, when you’re not being daft or hiding or pushing people away you’re almost likeable. Which is a problem because she is fixated on being in a family and thinks maybe you could be part of it, while you’re so sure that you’ll muck things up that you would rather have her as another close friend and leave it at that, even though it would tear you to bits.”

“In a less-crap world, you and Caroline would have either broken up completely, or you would get to see each other much more than you do now so you wouldn’t get the chance to miss her and idolise her, Kayleigh would have already met someone who is loving and caring and doesn’t have years of self-imposed baggage holding him back, ‘him’ being not you, while you would have realised just how much Cath loves you and so wouldn’t have kept her at arms’ length all this time.”  
“What? Cath?”  
“Of course she does. That girl loves the bloody arse off you. Start showing her the respect she deserves.”

“However,” Paul continued, “since we’re stuck with this world, I think the best option is that you grow a pair, realise that your mistakes with Charlotte are something you should learn from rather than hide behind, and work out exactly how you feel about Kayleigh. Soon. Because if she does feel the way you think she does, then she deserves the best from you. And if that means letting her go so she can find someone better, then that has to happen quickly.”

“Which doesn’t sound like taking it slow. Slow means taking the time to really work out how you feel about her, then think about what she wants - all of it - and decide if that is actually what you want, despite your noise all this time. And if it is, then commit. And if it’s not, tell her and live with it.”

“Whatever you do, treat her with respect and be honest either way. Don’t rush a decision just because you feel sorry for her, what with her thinking she’s running out of time to get married and have kids.”

They sat in silence, John clearly lost in thought. After a minute Paul reached for his coffee and looked at the mug with mild disgust.  
“Oh great. I’ve talked so much that my coffee has gone cold. And I still have to come up with an excuse for raising my voice earlier.”  
“How about... some dog crapping on the drive?”  
“Good thinking. I like that.” He stood and looked at John. “Come on. You all right with what I’ve said?”  
John got to his feet. “I guess so. Thanks, Paul.”  
“Look, for the next hour or so, just focus on your uncle-duties. We can talk a bit more after they’re in bed. But then it’s really up to you.” He paused before opening the door. “What Bond film are you going to base her bed-time story on?”  
“Moonraker, I think.”  
“Really?” Paul stopped and thought for a good fifteen seconds, then his eyes widened. “Don’t name her Princess Goodhead, whatever you do.”  
“No, no, no. Princess Sofia will be doing the arse-kicking in tonight’s story.”


End file.
